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Why Does Suffering Affect Me So Much? The Question That Changed My Life
Why does suffering affect some people so deeply? A personal reflection on compassion, empathy, faith, and why the world's pain reaches some hearts more than others.
7/31/20265 min read
Why Does Suffering Affect Me So Much?
Have you ever wondered why some people seem deeply affected by suffering while others simply move on?
Why can one person read about a natural disaster, see an abandoned dog, or hear about war and carry it in their heart for days, while someone else scrolls past without giving it another thought?
For years, I've asked myself that question.
I think my search for the answer actually began when I was seven years old.
A Question I Never Stopped Asking
I remember sitting in my first-grade religion class., I was about 7 or 8 years old.
While many of my classmates probably saw religion as just another subject, I was fascinated by it. I loved talking about God. I loved asking questions. There was something about the mystery of life that completely captured my imagination.
My religion teacher often smiled because I never seemed to run out of questions.
But one question stayed with me long after I left that classroom.
"If God is almighty, why is there suffering? Why do children go hungry? Why do innocent people suffer?"
I still remember his answer.
He told me that God had given humanity free will, that every person has a choice. Then he added something that stayed with me for decades:
"There is always a reason behind everything, even suffering."
As a child, I accepted that answer.
But I never stopped asking the question.
The Same Question, Decades Later
Today, many years later, I find myself asking exactly the same question.
Only now, my heart breaks especially for animals.
When I see abandoned dogs wandering the streets.
When I hear about hunting dogs locked away in tiny cages.
When I watch forests burning while wildlife desperately tries to survive.
I still catch myself asking...
Why?
Today, some people might call this being a Highly Sensitive Person. Others might simply call it deep empathy. Whatever label we choose, I think many of us know what it feels like when the suffering of strangers somehow becomes personal.
When an Explanation Becomes an Escape
Some time ago, someone said something that made me pause.
"It's karma."
For a brief moment, I almost felt relieved.
If suffering has a spiritual explanation, perhaps it somehow makes sense.
Perhaps these souls are walking a path I cannot understand.
For a moment, my heart became lighter.
But then another thought quietly appeared.
If I explain suffering by calling it karma...
...do I become less compassionate?
Does having an explanation make it easier to look away?
Or is the purpose of every explanation meant to open our hearts—not close them?
I don't know.
And perhaps that's one of the most honest answers I can give.
The older I become, the more I notice that many religions seem to point toward something much bigger than having the right explanation.
Christianity speaks of love, mercy, and caring for one another.
Buddhism teaches compassion for all living beings.
Different paths.
Different languages.
Yet they all seem to arrive at the same place.
Compassion.
Maybe I've Been Asking the Wrong Question
For most of my life, I searched for the answer to one question.
Why is there suffering?
But lately, I've begun asking a different one.
Why did this suffering reach my heart?
Why does one person remain untouched while another feels as though their heart could break?
Maybe I don't need to understand why suffering exists.
Maybe I need to understand what life is asking of me when I witness it.
That single question has changed the way I see compassion.
Compassion Shouldn't Empty Us
Over the years, I've learned something important.
When I carry the entire world's suffering inside me, I don't become more helpful.
I become overwhelmed.
I become exhausted.
Eventually, I have less love left to give.
That helps no one.
Perhaps compassion also means protecting the heart that wants to help.
These days, I no longer believe I'm responsible for fixing every injustice in the world.
But I am responsible for how I respond to the small part of the world placed in front of me.
I can smile at the lonely elderly neighbour.
I can ask a homeless person what they need instead of pretending they don't exist.
I can rescue an animal when I have the opportunity.
I can support organisations that protect those who cannot speak for themselves.
I can even approach people who cause suffering with curiosity instead of immediate judgment, because sometimes those who hurt others are carrying wounds of their own.
These are acts of compassion within my reach.
But what about the wars I cannot stop?
The forests I cannot save?
The thousands of abandoned animals I will never meet?
I still don't know how to live with that.
Maybe I never will.
Learning to Be Comfortable With "I Don't Know"
One thing has changed since I was that little girl sitting in religion class.
Back then, I wanted answers.
Today, I'm becoming more comfortable admitting that I don't have them.
What I do know is this:
Every time suffering reaches my heart, life gives me a choice.
I can become overwhelmed by it.
Or I can allow it to become compassion in action.
Maybe that is enough.
The Question I've Chosen Instead
Today, I rarely ask,
"Why is this happening?"
Instead, I ask,
"Why did this suffering reach my heart?"
Maybe not because I was meant to explain it.
Maybe not because I was meant to carry the weight of the whole world.
But because I was meant to let it shape the way I love the small corner of the world that has been entrusted to me.
Perhaps changing one life is enough.
Perhaps offering one helping hand is enough.
Perhaps choosing compassion, again and again, is enough.
And perhaps the greatest act of faith is having the humility to say,
"I don't know why suffering exists."
"But I know how I want to respond when I meet it."
How I Chose to Answer That Question
Maybe this is also why Chilani Cares became such an important part of my journey.
I realised I would probably never solve the mystery of suffering.
But I could choose how I respond to the small corner of the world entrusted to me.
That's why 10% of everything we create from Golden Magic Oil and The Language of Manifestation and everything you'll find on Chilaniskincare.com goes directly toward helping street dogs and cats through feeding stations, neutering programmes, medical care, and finding loving homes.
It won't change the whole world.
But it might change one life.
And perhaps that's where compassion has always begun.
A Mirror Question
As I often discover, life doesn't always give us answers.
Sometimes it offers us better questions.
So today, I'd like to leave you with this one:
What suffering has reached your heart and what small act of compassion might it be inviting you to take?
Because perhaps the purpose isn't to carry the weight of the entire world.
Perhaps it's simply to leave the small part of it that touched your heart a little kinder than you found it.